Cool Out on the Patio

During summer, I love to spend some time relaxing out on the patio, especially in the early evening. Only problem is the heat kind of spoils things. But that’s not a problem for me because I figured out that putting a big evaporative cooler out there with me cools things down perfectly!

Now why would anyone go and put a device that blows cold air outside when it’s the inside of the house that needs cooling down mostly? Well, that’s my little trick that I’m going to share with you now.

Swamp Coolers Outdoors

Cool Patio

Really, you can put a swamp cooler outside and benefit from the cold air it blasts out when it’s scorchingly hot out there. Remember, these coolers are super frugal when it comes to using electricity unlike their big energy-hog cousins, air conditioners!

Sure, I’d be crazy to put a portable air conditioner out on the patio. That’s because it would send my utility bill through the roof and the benefit in cooled air would be greatly offset by the heat rising from the top of my head and the steam coming out of my ears when I saw an electricity bill the size of Texas!

But that doesn’t happen with my swamp cooler. It burns about 100 watts to blast out a steady stream of cold air right in my direction where I’m relaxing and really chilling in my comfy recliner out there on the patio where I can read my book in peace and not be getting all hot and sweaty.

Cheaper than Cheap

Of course, even 100 watts of electricity costs some money, I’m not trying to hide that. But it sure is a whole load less than the 2,500 watts my neighbor’s portable AC guzzles up when he uses it indoors. Poor old guy has nothing but an old fan to blow hot air on him when he sits out on his patio!

While I’m not getting cool for free, I’m getting it pretty darn cheap and my comfort is worth the small outlay in running the evaporative cooler out there where I’m sitting. Now that’s a nice way to stay cool!

Oh yeah, while I think of it. While I’m sitting outside reading my book being cooled by the swampie, I’m not running any cooling in the house, so I’m actually saving money by sitting out there. Yeah, I know that’s a kind of strange philosophy, but it’s true and there’s no getting away from the incontrovertible fact that I cannot be in two places at once!

One More Benefit

So where I am is where I stay cooled and comforted while I relax, enjoy my calm corner of the world and enjoy reading my book where I want to. There’s the first and most important benefit of using a swamp cooler outdoors.

I get to sit outside on a beautiful sunny day without getting overheated by the sun, enjoying some summer chill. And you know one other amazing benefit of having that chilled air blasted at my from the swampie? Insects hate it and don’t bother me while I’m sitting in that stream of cold wind!


A Summer Chill

What could this sudden feeling of coldness be on such a warm, sunny summer’s day? Logic would dictate that since the temperature outside is hovering somewhere in the low 80s Fahrenheit, everything in this house of mine would be similarly temperate since there is a glaring lack of air conditioning or other artificial means of lowering the temperature.

Yet here I sit, feeling positively chilled to the bone wrapped in a blanket lying on the sofa!

Methinks something is not quite right inside the old skin and bones and perhaps it might be a better than bad idea to consider calling in the doctor. For if my logic is sound, there is a better than average chance I’m coming down with something that I’d rather not be coming down with and that a timely prescribed potion from a medical magician might alleviate.

Chilled or Chilling?

Not for the fleetest moment did it enter my head that something else might be the cause of my sudden feeling of the shivers on this hot day. What else could possibly cause this was not a notion that I would entertain. I was pretty sure it was a case of the common cold or even influenza that was laying me low.

It just so happened that my neighbor is a medical man and also a personal friend, so I did not hesitate any longer in getting him on the phone. It was, after all a Saturday and he would not be at work.

Luck was with me. He answered and said he’d be round in a jiffy.

What happened next was completely unexpected.

The Doctor Visits

Knowing there was a fairly good chance I would be unwilling to leave the sanctity of my sofa to answer the front door, my doctor friend came in through the unlocked back door and found me huddled like a frightened child in my tightly wrapped blanket looking rather sorry for myself.

The doctor was already rubbing his hands together and looking rather cold standing there in shorts and a short sleeved shirt fashionably un-tucked. “Hey Buddy, when did you get the air conditioning installed?”


“It’s freezing in here Bud. You don’t need a doctor, you need a handyman who knows how to turn down the thermostat!”

That kind of made me sit up rather sharply and furrow my brow in complete puzzlement. “I don’t have AC, Doc as you keep reminding me every summer when you call round for a cold beer.” I was beginning to wonder if he might not be pulling my leg, figuratively speaking. “Oh, I get it. Very funny. The beer is in the fridge where it always is you joker!”

“Um, I’m not joking with you Bud. I’m standing here armed with some rinky dink meds to fight your summer chill and it’s not you that’s cold. It’s this house!”

I slowly got up and dropped the blanket. I took a deep breath and discovered I could do this easily. No blocked nose or need to cough. I went over to the mirror and looked at my face. Not at all blotchy or red as I imagined it would be.

“Hey, I’m not sick, am I?” I offered reluctantly.

“Without looking you over, I can’t make that determination of course, but from here, you look OK to me.” The doctor pondered for a moment, then, “I think I’ll have that beer. Maybe you should join me.”

“Good idea Doc. In fact, let’s go out on the porch and drink it. I’m starting to get the heebie-jeebies in here.”

We grabbed two bottles of Coors from the fridge and headed out to the porch. It was wonderfully warm and relaxing out there. Not at all like the spookily chilly inside.

“What do you think, Doc? Is my place suddenly haunted?”

“Bud, you know I’m a man of science and ghosts and goblins don’t fit into that place. But you sure got something a little crazy happening in there if you don’t have any AC running overtime.” The doctor cracked open his beer and took a long swig. “Let’s just warm up out here a while and let the beers do the cooling.”

“I concur with your professional prognosis, Doc. Hey, it’s a darn nice day out here!”

Moral of the Story

If your house is cold even in summer and you’re not sick, a cold beer on a warn porch might not cure the problem, but it makes it a whole load easier to deal with.